Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Super Soaked Parents

My "Coolness" credentials:

I wear many hats – one of which is playing live music and writing jingles for businesses on the side. I consider myself to be a slightly “hip” adult. I like all kinds of music from hard rock to country to rap and R&B. I am cool. Okay I get a dose of cold reality when the college girls at parties call me “SIR” but I hold my own as a 30 something American male.

self portrait

When I was a kid I subscribed to the “if you don’t like it just change the channel” theory of absolutely NO standards in the media and NO censorship of obviously offensive lyrics in music. Heck, even if “Lollipop” from the 1950’s is not really about a lollipop (and the 2008 version is absolutely not about a lollipop) it is still fairly innocuous.

When my 5 year old daughter sings “Drop it like its Hot” or “My Humps” I have to laugh at the surrealism of it all. To be clear I don’t think she knows what the lyrics to those songs mean, but it reminds me how far we have fallen in terms of cultural respectability in this country.

Can we all agree that certain subject matter is not acceptable for children (or for that matter anyone with a brain) to listen to and sing along with?

It is now my turn to (albeit a year too late) do my part in publicly “outing” the meaning behind the mega hit “Superman that Hoe” by Soulja Boy. My friends cringe when I turn to this subject, but I feel it is my civic duty to bring it to your attention.


Hey Middle America do you know what “Superman that Hoe” means??

(For those of you still on oldies radio, a “Hoe” is what the urban community (customers) and the upper class community (gangster rappers) call women. Just so we are all on the same page).

To “Superman a Hoe” is to wait until the woman who refused your advances falls asleep. You then masturbate and ejaculate onto her back. Once finished you press a bed sheet onto her now soiled back to, in effect, add a Superman Cape. When she arises the sheet remains stuck to her skin and she will appear to have a cape! (1)

Isn’t this funny? References are below. As I always do as the conservOpunk in this medium, I merely state facts. Any Google search can confirm anything I bring forward. Do with this information what you will. You now know what “Superman that Hoe” means. I wonder what the lyrics “Super soak that Hoe” mean? Perhaps he is talking about water or something? Yes, yes that must be it.

Don’t be mired in the muck of political correctness. Get involved in the well being of your children. And for that matter the adults who buy and dance to this crap. Hell the song itself sucks and the production value is terrible!! (:

Parents, I suggest getting off of your collective butts and listening to what exactly your kids are idolizing.

Wait, I can say your collective Asses can’t I??? I hear that word on the radio all the time… and remember when I saw the band “MorningWood” on Nickelodeon!

conservOpunk (and concerned Dad)

1) Superman that Hoe Links:


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